Police Beat

Posted: March 18, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Link to the assignment: Police Beat 


Essentially, identify an innocent seeming song that advocates some odd/criminal behavior and reformat it as a police report style article. My example based on “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg” is below.




MARCH 10TH, 2012

Acclaimed Italian eurodance group, Eiffel 65 (Jeffrey Jey, Maurizio Lobina, Gabry Ponte) has been arrested for allegedly painting sixteen women, ten vehicles, three churches, and eight houses blue.They were arrested approximately five blocks from their home in Naples, Italy. The exact brand of paint used is unknown, but is currently being investigated by crime scene investigators. Witnesses claim the three men were yelling “Im blue, da ba dee da ba dee” as they were painting everything in sight with an unknown blue substance.

Witness and local farmer Marco Materazzi said the three men were most likely drunk, if not clinically insane.

Alessandro Del Piero, a clinical psychotherapist at the Naples Hospital of Mental Care warns the public that although the three men are mentally unstable, and should be avoided at all costs. “In my professional opinion, Eiffel 65 must be kept in police custody for as long as possible, for they are a possible threat to the general public of Naples. They have an unhealthy obsession with the color blue.”

The three men are currently under custody, pending over 20 charges for vandalism, destruction of property, assault with a deadly weapon (unknown blue substance), public indecency, etc.

Total Damage: Estimated to be over $200,000 USD.

  1. lockmantuj says:

    This is a great take on the assignment. It certainly reads like a real police report. One small problem is that this shows up in the tutorial column rather than in the assignment column on the ds106 assignment page – check your tags.

  2. tuc38620 says:

    This is quite amusing! Nice job, Lei!

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